Gorbachev The Driver

 

You know, less than one family out of seven in the Soviet Union owns an automobile. Most of the automobiles are driven by bureaucrats. The government furnishes them, and the drivers and so forth. So an order went out one day to the police that anyone caught speeding , anyone, no matter who, gets a ticket.

 

 

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Well, Gorbachev came out of his country home, his dacha. He was late getting to the Kremlin. There was his limousine and driver waiting. He told the driver to get into the back seat — he’d drive.. and down the road he went… And they pass two motorcycle cops. One took out after him. And pretty soon he is back with his buddy. And his buddy says, “Well, did you give him a ticket?” And he said, “No.” “What,” he said, “Why not?” “Oh,” he said, ” He’s too important.” “Well,” he said, “We are told to give anybody a ticket, no matter who it is!” “Oh,” he says, “No, no,” he says, “This was… I couldn’t.” “But who was it?” He said, “I couldn’t recognize him. But his driver was Gorbachev.”

 

Mr. President, I Don’t Like the Way You’re Running Our Country

 

The story was about an American and a Russian arguing about their two countries.  And the American said look, in my country, I can walk into the oval office, I can pound on the president’s desk and say Mr. President, I don’t like the way you’re running our country. And the Russian said I can do that.  And the American said you can? Yes, I can go into the Kremlin, into the general secretary’s office, pound on his desk and say Mr. General Secretary, I don’t like the way the President Reagan is running his country.

 

 

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They Just Carbon Date Me

 

But, I am aware of my age.  When I go in for a physical now they no longer ask me how old I am.  They just carbon date me.

 

 

 

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Margaret Thatcher’s Last Shot at the Socialists

 The Prime Minister:

 

 

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People on all levels of income are better off than they were in 1979. The hon. Gentleman is saying that he would rather that the poor were poorer, provided that the rich were less rich. That way one will never create the wealth for better social services, as we have. What a policy. Yes, he would rather have the poor poorer, provided that the rich were less rich. That is the Liberal policy.

Yes, it came out. The hon. Member did not intend it to, but it did.

I think that the hon. Gentleman knows that I have the same contempt for his socialist policies as the people of east Europe, who have experienced them, have for theirs. I think that I must have hit the right nail on the head when I pointed out that the logic of those policies is that they would rather the poor were poorer. Once they start to talk about the gap, they would rather that the gap were that—[indicating[—down here, not this—[indicating[—but—[indicating.] So long as the gap is smaller, they would rather have the poor poorer. One does not create wealth and opportunity that way. One does not create a property-owning democracy that way.

 

Leave Them Laughing

 

As his turn of office came to an end, it was Ronald Reagan’s nature to leave them laughing.

As soon as I get home to California I plan lean back, kick up my feet and take a long nap. Well, come to think of it, things won’t be all that different after all.

 


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Ronald Reagan Joke Book

 

In the Reagan joke book, the nation’s capital was always good for a laugh.

You know you don’t have to spend much time in Washington to appreciate the prophetic vision of the man who designed all the streets there..they go in circles.

 

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